reflections. revelations. rambling?

don't think i wanna say anything to do with time liao. i guess we all know the urgency of matters right now, and for those (like me) who aren't satisfied with things as they are right now, well, all i can say, is "do something about it"...

i suppose my tag tells quite a bit about how i feel these days. i'm not sure if i told anyone of you, but i actually have a hike this coming september. yup. 2 weeks before the promos. my fellow scouts said that i was insane. perhaps. but at that time, i was confident i could manage it all. after all, driven by passion and stuff, it seemed that nothing could stop me from going on this hike.

passion.

somehow, i sense that my passion for certain things has diminished. scouts is probably the area i am becoming less passionate about. not that i don't love scouts anymore, just that i don't have the same level of passion and interest in it. when things start to disappoint you and turn out very different from what you expect (despite concessions and repeated desperate attempts to accomplish impossible tasks), thanks to politics and stuff, you can't help but wonder if those goals are really achievable and whether the end product (if achieved/obtained) means anything at all.

yet now, i hear a higher calling (possibly from God). should i follow that inner (or divine) voice to do something new, exciting and life-changing (for others and myself)? or should i continue to strive towards my current objective, which i find increasingly hard to commit to?

sigh.