lol, thanks everyone for your concern! decided not to write any song lyrics for the title for this one 'cos i have too many conflicting emotions in my mind right now and no single line can really express what i am feeling at this very moment...

feeling quite dumb for the past few days. srp - i can't really sense my ownership of or involvement in the project. 'cos firstly, it doesn't help that you haven't seen half the equipment before in the lab and even for those that you have seen, the people there seem to work with them differently (like, they don't even seem to wash their graduated flasks before making solutions?) and secondly, my project is very trial and error and i can only do one or two things in a single day because of all the bookings of slots for various equipments and in the end, i wind up spending hours in the library looking for journal articles that don't even exist... i even spent some of those hours in the cold library studying for blocks! wth... life can get really slow during those days. worse still, my supervisor kinda treats me like a kid. ok, i think i deserve being treated like a kid 'cos i really don't know how to use the things and seriously, physics was never something i had passion or aptitude for...

i don't know if you guys feel the same or have had the same experience... but honestly speaking, it can be so energy-sapping, having to find new ways of doing the project in a cold lab, looking for info in a cold library, prepping for whatever-you-intend-to-do during hols in a cold lab/library. my metabolism and acquired immunity are screwing up somewhere. phlegm choking me. clammy skin. zzz.

sigh. and i keep on forgetting stuff. i realised i had forgotten half what i had studied for bio :/ oh. and today i did sem work using an sem given by "the Government of Japan to the National University of Singapore... on the 16th of April, 1984"... -_-" it's the really crappy type - low res and loads of 'noise'... but whatever. i didn't even do the focussing and stuff. all i did was adjust the position of the stage. if that's a way of reinforcing my knowledge on microscopy, only one expression to make: :S and it's freaking ironic how an srpian person doing a chemistry project can't figure out for the life of himself the dot and cross diagram of alumina... i am seriously done for. persuade me otherwise please, someone.

more sighs ahead. didn't even manage to send my close friend off to ocip, thanks to freak conditions called "parental intervention". completely sucked. and the rain in nus didn't help much either. only reinforced my mood T_T ended up writing some sucky stuff to vent my frustrations and self-angst while trying to make sense of nicholas alchin..

hakuna matata. is it really that attainable?